


the basement | exo vs. each other in the group chat

by yoursandwichismine



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Friendship, Gen, OT9 (EXO), Texting, just our bros having a good old time in the gc, poor exo been stuck in the basement so long
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2020-12-02
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:55:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 7,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25221997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoursandwichismine/pseuds/yoursandwichismine
Summary: got my junmoney: i am not MANKYi am sehun: oh yes the fuck you aregot my junmoney: oh yeahgot my junmoney: says the person who leaves nineteen dishes in our roomi am sehun: not that you would know when they were hidden under your thousands of pairs of underpants
Comments: 12
Kudos: 34





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i've always wanted to write a texting fic but i could never figure out the right format, and i never had anything entertaining to write about. i've written more parts but idk if i want to post them yet so let me know if you like this so i can post the next part.
> 
> shoemin - minseok  
> got my junmoney - junmyeon  
> chinarap - yixing  
> bAEkhyunee - baekhyun  
> cheeriodae - jongdae  
> yeol - chanyeol  
> soo - kyungsoo  
> nininoo - jongin  
> i am sehun - sehun
> 
> (obviously)

**the basement**   
**[Today, 4:42pm]**

**[yeol is online]**

yeol: wtf sehun where are all the dishes

**[i am sehun is online]**

i am sehun: why do you automatically assume it was me

yeol: because you’re always keeping them in your room  
yeol: bring them out now i need something to eat

i am sehun: no

yeol: yes

i am sehun: come get them yourself

yeol: don’t eat cereal in your room

i am sehun: i can do whatever i want

yeol: i’ll tell junmyeon

i am sehun: like he gives a crap

yeol: @soo  
yeol: come get your bowls

**[soo is online]**

soo: sehun  
soo: wash the bowls

**[soo is offline]**

i am sehun: i hate you chanyeol  
i am sehun: go to hell

yeol: i will when you wash your dishes

**[i am sehun is offline]**


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> same users as last time, but for a recap:
> 
> shoemin - minseok  
> got my junmoney - junmyeon  
> chinarap - yixing  
> bAEkhyunee - baekhyun  
> cheeriodae - jongdae  
> yeol - chanyeol  
> soo - kyungsoo  
> nininoo - jongin  
> i am sehun - sehun

**the basement**   
**[Today, 5:32pm]**

**[got my junmoney is online]**

got my junmoney: yuck  
got my junmoney: who left a bowl of soggy cornflakes in the sink  
got my junmoney: rinse that shit out

**[yeol is online]**

yeol: sehun  
yeol: he had a grand total of three bowls, three plates, four cups and nine utensils floating around in his room  
yeol: that he shares with YOU

got my junmoney: excuse me  
got my junmoney: i did not know this

yeol: yeah and i thought you were the manky one

got my junmoney: i am not MANKY

**[i am sehun, bAEkhyunee, and 1 other is online]**

i am sehun: oh yes the fuck you are

got my junmoney: oh yeah  
got my junmoney: says the person who leaves nineteen dishes in our room

i am sehun: not that you would know when they were hidden under your thousands of pairs of underpants

cheeriodae: i’m surprised you don’t have a rat

i am sehun: junmyeon is the rat

bAEkhyunee: rat

got my junmoney: im not a rat

i am sehun: yes you are  
i am sehun: 🐀

bAEkhyunee: who out of all of us looks the most like a rat

got my junmoney: you

yeol: you

cheeriodae: you

i am sehun: you

bAEkhyunee: what did i do to deserve this

**[bAEkhyunee is offline]**

cheeriodae: you made him sad

got my junmoney: you agreed

cheeriodae: yes but you didn’t need to

i am sehun: omg he does look a bit ratty tho

yeol: don’t tell him that

  
**ChanyeolBaekXi sorry jongdae**   
**[Today, 5:46pm]**

**[bAEkhyunee is online]**

bAEkhyunee: minseok do i look like a rat

shoemin: no?

bAEkhyunee: good

shoemin: ???

bAEkhyunee: jongdae chanyeol sehun and junmyeon said i looked the most like a rat out of all of us

shoemin: oh  
shoemin: nah i think junmyeon does  
shoemin: like  
shoemin: a chubby rat  
shoemin: or a mouse?  
shoemin: but in a cute way  
shoemin: wdy think?

bAEkhyunee: tbh i was thinking you

shoemin: smh bro  
shoemin: after all we’ve been through

bAEkhyunee: no offense

shoemin: :((((


	3. Chapter 3

**the basement**   
**[Today, 11:28am]**

**[nininoo is online]**

nininoo: big toe  
nininoo: i typed that with my big toe

**[chinarap, cheeriodae, and 2 others are online]**

soo: don’t care didn’t ask  
soo: i typed that with my fingers

nininoo: rude

chinarap: woah  
chinarap: how long did that take

nininoo: about twenty minutes  
nininoo: the backspace was hard to type :(

chinarap: wait a moment

i am sehun: nose  
i am sehun: i typed that with my nose  
i am sehun: beat that bitches

cheeriodae: weak  
cheeriodae: chin  
cheeriodae: typed that with my chin

chinarap: dick

nininoo: NO  
nininoo: YIXING

soo: …

cheeriodae: MJBFKFSFDHAIWAJ

i am sehun: i have TOUCHED that phone

chinarap: I DIDN’T ACTUALLY  
chinarap: IT WAS A JOKE

nininoo: i don’t believe you

i am sehun: again, i have been in contact with that phone

soo: you guys are such idiots

cheeriodae: HE FUCKING TYPED WITH HIS JUNK

chinarap: NO I DIDN’T KYUNGSOO TELL THEM  
chinarap: YOU SAW ME  
chinarap: FUCKING TELL THEM KYUNGSOO

soo: i will neither confirm nor deny

chinarap: i want to go back to china

i am sehun: take your phone with you please


	4. Chapter 4

**the basement**   
**[Today, 8:35pm]**

**[bAEkhyunee is online]**

bAEkhyunee: can someone please insult me  
bAEkhyunee: i need to practice crying

**[shoemin, yeol, and 6 others are online]**

soo: why?

bAEkhyunee: doesn’t matter  
bAEkhyunee: now hit me

soo: why would i purposefully insult you?

bAEkhyunee: oh come on kyungsoo i know you have some pretty hurtful comments in your arsenal

soo: and i do  
soo: but i would rather stay externally peaceful over being screamed at for being “too mean”

i am sehun: you absolute moron, grow up for once and act like a civilised human being rather than being an ignorant, pestering little shit. you think you can sing? you think you’re talented? man the fuck up you worthless idiot

yeol: WOAH  
yeol: SEHUN  
yeol: CALM DOWN HE’LL CRY

bAEkhyunee: ouch  
bAEkhyunee: wait i think it’s working

yeol: sehun you went too far  
yeol: i can see him tearing up  
yeol: he SNIFFLED

bAEkhyunee: no it’s fine  
bAEkhyunee: this was my goal

shoemin: why did you need to cry again?

bAEkhyunee: i wanted to see which one of you was the most heartless  
bAEkhyunee: sehun wins

i am sehun: where’s my reward

cheeriodae: wtf sehun chanyeol literally said he’s crying

got my junmoney: baekhyun you basically set this up for yourself  
got my junmoney: you were only going to get hurt

bAEkhyunee: this is what i WANTED to happen  
bAEkhyunee: it’s fine anyways  
bAEkhyunee: i know he only made it up

i am sehun: …  
i am sehun: that’s exactly what happened yes

yeol: SEHUN STOP  
yeol: HE’S CRYING

chinarap: can you send a pic?

nininoo: that’s so mean  
nininoo: …but can you?

i am sehun: yes please  
i am sehun: i would like proof of my success

bAEkhyunee: why do you guys bully me so much  
bAEkhyunee: these tears are getting genuine

chinarap: quick chanyeol take it  
chinarap: while the tears are fresh

yeol: no  
yeol: if you really want a picture come and take it yourself

chinarap: good idea

yeol: NO

soo: im so sick of you all  
soo: idek why i’ve stayed this long

i am sehun: leave then

nininoo: no please dont  
nininoo: you’re the only sane person here

got my junmoney: ????

yeol: WHAT

shoemin: i did NOTHING

soo: ffs

**[soo is offline]**

nininoo: i didn’t mean that btw

**[nininoo is offline]**

chinarap: the way he has to compensate for his words before he leaves  
chinarap: he’s too precious

bAEkhyunee: YOU GUYS MADE ME CRY  
bAEkhyunee: AM I NOT PRECIOUS ENOUGH

i am sehun: that just makes you oversensitive

yeol: no sehun  
yeol: it makes you insensitive  
yeol: you’re so bad

i am sehun: 😎  
i am sehun: michael jackson would approve

got my junmoney: again baek  
got my junmoney: you did this to yourself

bAEkhyunee: yeah but i didn’t expect this to happen!

chinarap: oh shit guys  
chinarap: baekhyun i didn’t know you were crying that much

yeol: YIXING GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE DOORWAY THAT’S NOT FUNNY

i am sehun: TAKE THE FUCKING PICTURE YIXING

cheeriodae: how much mucus is there?

got my junmoney: yuck dae

shoemin: you are all so horrible  
shoemin: it’s honestly pretty funny

cheeriodae: i’m just wondering if baek is a snotty crier

yeol: this is so cute  
yeol: yixing apologised 🥺

i am sehun: i thought you were a respectable person, yixing  
i am sehun: i was deeply mistaken

chinarap: sigh

got my junmoney: it’s okay yixing  
got my junmoney: sehun’s respect isn’t very respectablr  
got my junmoney: respectable*

cheeriodae: just like your spelling

**[got my junmoney is offline]**


	5. Chapter 5

**the basement**   
**[Today, 7:51pm]**

**[got my junmoney is online]**

got my junmoney: @shoemin hey  
got my junmoney: today someone told me you look like an owl lmao

**[shoemin is online]**

shoemin: who?

got my junmoney: 👀👀

shoemin: that’s not even fucking funny

**[cheeriodae is online]**

**[cheeriodae liked got my junmoney’s message]**

shoemin: JONGDAE

got my junmoney: YES

cheeriodae: i have some news  
cheeriodae: @bAEkhyunee @soo @i am sehun @yeol @chinarap @nininoo

**[bAEkhyunee, nininoo, and 4 others are online]**

nininoo: haha  
nininoo: nice one junmyeon

got my junmoney: thank you

shoemin: it’s not even that funny

bAEkhyunee: wait but you do look a little like an owl

shoemin: well you also said i look like a rat so

chinarap: you  
chinarap: you do  
chinarap: you look a little like both actually

nininoo: oh my god  
nininoo: he does

shoemin: gee thanks guys

soo: what was the news?

i am sehun: spill the tea sis 💅

cheeriodae: i have found something  
cheeriodae: there’s this thing

yeol: ?

soo: ?

i am sehun: what??

bAEkhyunee: ???

got my junmoney: ?

shoemin: ??

nininoo: ??


	6. Chapter 6

cheeriodae: called 2baek

bAEkhyunee: excuse me

shoemin: …

yeol: erm  
yeol: okay  
yeol: please explain

bAEkhyunee: or don’t

got my junmoney: …what is it

cheeriodae: well  
cheeriodae: it’s pretty much shipping baekhyun with himself

bAEkhyunee: oh no

soo: i was going to leave but this is actually pretty interesting

yeol: does kyungsoo…?

soo: no i do not

yeol: ✋😶🤚  
yeol: a little concerned but okay

chinarap: wait  
chinarap: is that incest?

bAEkhyunee: sTOP

nininoo: YOU HAVE VIOLATED THE LAW  
nininoo: PAY THE COURT A FINE OR SERVE YOUR SENTENCE

yeol: it wouldn’t be incest because baekhyun is one person

bAEkhyunee: i think i might cry

i am sehun: again*

bAEkhyunee: why have people done this to me  
bAEkhyunee: 2yeol is much more desirable

yeol: WHY?!

bAEkhyunee: because it isn’t me

soo: how does it work?  
soo: like what are the dynamics?

shoemin: why are you so interested?

soo: this may be the most entertaining thing that has ever happened to me and i intend to get the most out of it

got my junmoney: that’s both tragic for you because it implies that your life is boring, and tragic for us because it implies that we haven’t entertained you at any point during our long-lasting friendship

cheeriodae: it’s like  
cheeriodae: so there’s a baekhyun from one concept and another baekhyun from another concept  
cheeriodae: idk what next

i am sehun: what happens after that

bAEkhyunee: unspeakable things  
bAEkhyunee: things only the devil himself could imagine

chinarap: i want to look it up but im kinda scared

cheeriodae: oh yes  
cheeriodae: be terrified  
cheeriodae: there are drawings

nininoo: of… of what?

cheeriodae: i cannot disclose, child

chinarap: oh hey nah it isn’t too bad  
chinarap: it’s basically just two baekhyuns chilling together

cheeriodae: that’s just the tip of the iceberg  
cheeriodae: you haven’t seen anything yet

bAEkhyunee: im not comfortable with the idea of you guys looking at pictures of me fucking myself  
bAEkhyunee: drawings or not

chinarap: you fuck yourself?

bAEkhyunee: that’s not what i said

got my junmoney: so why did you imply so?

bAEkhyunee: i didn’t

i am sehun: you sort of did

bAEkhyunee: that’s not what i meant

chinarap: but there were undertones

bAEkhyunee: fuck you all

**[bAEkhyunee is offline]**


	7. Chapter 7

**ChanyeolBaekXi sorry jongdae**   
**[Today, 12:58am]**

**[cheeriodae is online]**

cheeriodae: i legit cannot sleep  
cheeriodae: wake up guys

bAEkhyunee: ew  
bAEkhyunee: legit  
bAEkhyunee: you’re so old

cheeriodae: im younger than you???

bAEkhyunee: you are BEHIND  
bAEkhyunee: no one says legit anymore

**[shoemin is online]**

shoemin: i think i heard jongin say that once

cheeriodae: see???  
cheeriodae: it’s not OLD

bAEkhyunee: he’s young  
bAEkhyunee: it’s their lingo

cheeriodae: idek why you have a problem with it anyways

bAEkhyunee: im not associating myself with someone who says such lame things

cheeriodae: IT IS LITERALLY SHORT FOR LEGITAMATELY  
cheeriodae: DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM

shoemin: why did you wake us up in the first place

bAEkhyunee: speak for yourself  
bAEkhyunee: ive been awake the whole time  
bAEkhyunee: im killing it on valorant and there’s no way im losing this midnight skill streak

cheeriodae: wtf is valorant

bAEkhyunee: a game  
bAEkhyunee: sorry, you’d be too OLD to know

shoemin: im older than both of you

bAEkhyunee: yeah but you aren’t jongdae  
bAEkhyunee: he AGED  
bAEkhyunee: unhealthily

cheeriodae: bro im younger than you  
cheeriodae: how many times

bAEkhyunee: yes but im chilling with the young ones whilst you’re hanging around the old ones  
bAEkhyunee: aka seok, jun and kyungsoo

shoemin: bro i aint old

cheeriodae: LOL YOURE LIKE THIRTY

shoemin: IM IN MY PRIME  
shoemin: YOU GUYS SUCK  
shoemin: LIKE ACTUALLY

bAEkhyunee: ‘in my prime’ is something an old person in denial would say

shoemin: i thought you were bullying dae not me

bAEkhyunee: you, jongdae, as long as someone suffers

cheeriodae: you are a brat

shoemin: rat*

bAEkhyunee: rat owl

shoemin: at least i fly  
shoemin: get on my level

bAEkhyunee: already have  
bAEkhyunee: 5’9 bitch  
bAEkhyunee: aka taller than YOU

cheeriodae: you say that like it’s an achievement

bAEkhyunee: okay 5’8ers  
bAEkhyunee: we may be short, but our heights still compete among themselves

shoemin: just sent that 5’9 bullshit to sehun lol

bAEkhyunee: he’s like an inch taller  
bAEkhyunee: so who cares

cheeriodae: still taller than you tho

shoemin: he’s hit the six foot mark and that means bragging rights so

bAEkhyunee: omg he’s taller than us all  
bAEkhyunee: im not the only short one  
bAEkhyunee: consider junmyeon and soo

shoemin: chanyeol it is

bAEkhyunee: i hate you BOTH

cheeriodae: ily2 <33


	8. Chapter 8

**the basement**   
**[Today, 1:17am]**

bAEkhyunee: bro neither jongdae nor minseok knows what valorant is  
bAEkhyunee: hands to the oldies 

nininoo: wHAT

yeol: offended

chinarap: lmaooo why are they both so old

i am sehun: lol you’re older than dae  
i am sehun: you too baekhyun  
i am sehun: clapped yourselves

bAEkhyunee: no but i identify with you guys

i am sehun: ew no go away

shoemin: uhm  
shoemin: ok so you realise we’re active on this chat too

cheeriodae: we legit just talked about this

bAEkhyunee: STOP  
bAEkhyunee: SAYING LEGIT

cheeriodae: AND THIS  
cheeriodae: AND IM ALLOWED TO SAY WHATEVER SO PISS OFF

nininoo: okay but you guys don’t know what valorant is so

cheeriodae: no one knows shit about valorant  
cheeriodae: wth is it anyways

bAEkhyunee: i said it was a GAME

cheeriodae: that doesn’t explain ANYTHING

bAEkhyunee: YOU USED TO BE SO NICE TO ME WTF

yeol: it’s ok baek he’s having a phase  
yeol: don’t let a lamo like him beat you

cheeriodae: im not lame

chinarap: you don’t play valorant

bAEkhyunee: ^^^

nininoo: ^^

i am sehun: ^^^^

shoemin: i looked it up  
shoemin: it’s basically fortnite

chinarap: UM

nininoo: WOAH THERE

i am sehun: STFU

bAEkhyunee: EXCUSE ME

yeol: i am, once again  
yeol: offended

shoemin: i think id rather stay out of it now that i think about it

nininoo: understandable


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one's so short, i'll post the next chapter soon, i promise!
> 
> also i know 5'9 and 6'0 are more than an inch apart, but for the sake of comedy just roll with it. stupid system anyways

**[Today, 1:46am]**

**[yeol and i am sehun are online]**

i am sehun: lmao baekhyun  
i am sehun: 5’9 is no achievement bud

yeol: LOL YOU GOT THAT TOO

i am sehun: YES LOL  
i am sehun: and bro an inch is so much  
i am sehun: @bAEkhyunee

**[bAEkhyunee is online]**

bAEkhyunee: i hate minseok  
bAEkhyunee: like so much  
bAEkhyunee: and no it’s not!

i am sehun: yeah it is  
i am sehun: think of it like this  
i am sehun: five inch dick - meh  
i am sehun: SIX inch dick - yeah

yeol: example of the century

bAEkhyunee: im going to sleep

i am sehun: lol bye

yeol: lmaooo


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> credit to my friends, because this was actually a conversation we had and imo it's great inspo. a lot of the things said in this fic are actually courtesy of them so thank you my girls <33

**the basement**   
**[Today, 9:30pm]**

**[chinarap is online]**

chinarap: do you guys like pickled onions

**[soo and got my junmoney are online]**

soo: no

chinarap: wHAT THE FUCK

got my junmoney: what kind of question is that?

chinarap: the kind you ask when looking for an answer  
chinarap: do you?

got my junmoney: nope

chinarap: yall don’t deserve rights  
chinarap: that’s so messed up

got my junmoney: :(((

**[yeol is online]**

yeol: it’s okay guys  
yeol: pickled onions are my worst enemy

**[got my junmoney liked yeol’s message]**

got my junmoney: the demons of the fridge

chinarap: IM OFFENDED  
chinarap: LIKE WTF

yeol: no like  
yeol: they contaminate EVERYTHING  
yeol: you wanna eat yoghurt?? too bad been on the same shelf as those bitches

got my junmoney: the whole shelf they occupy tastes oniony

chinarap: YOU taste oniony  
chinarap: BITCH

yeol: HOW WOULD YOU KNOW??  
yeol: YIXING

got my junmoney: LOLLL

chinarap: YOU GUYS ARE LOSERS

yeol: YEAH RIGHT LOL

got my junmoney: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF

yeol: LOSER  
yeol: btw soo stop lurking

soo: i am not lurking

chinarap: lol yes you were

soo: i was in the bathroom

yeol: did you flush?

soo: of course i did

got my junmoney: did you wash your hands?

soo: yes

yeol: that’s a pretty suspicious yes  
yeol: inspect him yix

chinarap: inspecting

soo: istg yixing if you turn up in the doorway again  
soo: im going to murder your cat and make you live with it.

got my junmoney: he can’t answer, he’s on his way

soo: tell him he won’t be seeing his cat anymore then

yeol: why don’t you tell him? he’s gonna be in your doorway

soo: im trying to make this as painless as possible for him  
soo: if I tell him he’ll cry

got my junmoney: wait, does this mean you’re actually doing it?  
got my junmoney: you’re sounding pretty serious

soo: you guys are so DUMB

yeol: thank you

got my junmoney: yeol????

yeol: better than some of the other stuff he could say so i take it as a compliment

got my junmoney: kinda smart i guess  
got my junmoney: btw is yixing there yet  
got my junmoney: he’s taking a while

soo: no  
soo: he never appeared

**[soo is offline]**

yeol: lol why did he leave

chinarap: the bathroom tap was leaking a little  
chinarap: it has been used recently

got my junmoney: oh you actually checked  
got my junmoney: your cat almost died btw

chinarap: WHAT  
chinarap: WAIT WHAT HAPPENED

yeol: issokay it didn’t  
yeol: ksoo was gonna kill it if you showed up in his room

chinarap: scoff  
chinarap: ‘it’  
chinarap: IT has a name if you didn’t know

got my junmoney: not like you know either

**[yeol liked got my junmoney’s message]**

yeol: ^  
yeol: what’s it’s gender then

chinarap: uh  
chinarap: i don’t actually remember

got my junmoney: SEE

chinarap: stfu


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it might take a while to post the next chapter, im having mega writers' block atm so i can only post this one prewritten chapter, but i hope you enjoy it all the same.

**the basement**   
**[Today, 5:35pm]**

**[nininoo is online]**

nininoo: omg guys  
nininoo: there’s been an update

**[cheeriodae, i am sehun, and 2 others are online]**

yeol: huh

i am sehun: why do i need you to tell me when i could just look at my notifs

**[nininoo removed i am sehun from the chat]**

bAEkhyunee: LMAO

yeol: 👏👏

cheeriodae: okay but that’s cool

nininoo: ikr  
nininoo: but  
nininoo: we cannot abuse this kind of power

**[shoemin is online]**

shoemin: add me back bitch  
shoemin: this is sehun

nininoo: nope

bAEkhyunee: i concur

yeol: same  
yeol: we can just remove seok as well

nininoo: good point

shoemin: NO  
shoemin: JONGIN DO NOT

**[nininoo removed shoemin from the chat]**

yeol: lol he’s gonna be pissed

cheeriodae: minseok’s gonna be sad you removed him  
cheeriodae: you should add him back :(

bAEkhyunee: omg are you guys like together or something  
bAEkhyunee: istg if you are i am officially leaving cbx

cheeriodae: why??

bAEkhyunee: i am not third wheeling in my own group

nininoo: just get in a relationship yourself

yeol: 2baek <333

**[bAEkhyunee removed yeol from the chat]**

bAEkhyunee: i did what had to be done

cheeriodae: yeah baek  
cheeriodae: why don’t you date one of us?

bAEkhyunee: okay hold on  
bAEkhyunee: 1, i don’t have feelings for any of yall  
bAEkhyunee: 2, i’d be surprised if someone else had feelings for me  
bAEkhyunee: 3, DOES THIS MEAN YOU TWO ARE ACTUALLY TOGETHER

cheeriodae: no  
cheeriodae: i just love him a lot  
cheeriodae: as a FRIEND

nininoo: okay but you two would look cute together

cheeriodae: not the time to play matchmaker bro

nininoo: and baek  
nininoo: would you ever consider chanyeol? he cute and your type

bAEkhyunee: CHOKES  
bAEkhyunee: LMAO NO WAY AM I DATING CHANYEOL  
bAEkhyunee: also  
bAEkhyunee: i didn’t think any of us were into each other  
bAEkhyunee: btw you and soo 😔💅

cheeriodae: <333  
cheeriodae: aw

nininoo: i don’t think any of us are  
nininoo: and no because he’s a grumpy smartass  
nininoo: and plus, we’re really close friends  
nininoo: i’d never ruin that for us

**[cheeriodae liked nininoo’s message]**

cheeriodae: THIS  
cheeriodae: describes us all  
cheeriodae: can we stop talking about dating each other  
cheeriodae: im getting uncomfortable

bAEkhyunee: same tbh

nininoo: let’s delete these messages before we add the others back

**[nininoo deleted 8 messages]**

**[cheeriodae deleted 12 messages]**

**[bAEkhyunee deleted 10 messages]**

nininoo: all better

cheeriodae: you gonna add them back?

nininoo: yeah  
nininoo: should i add back sehun?

bAEkhyunee: yeah  
bAEkhyunee: we can’t be too mean to him

nininoo: well we can

cheeriodae: just add them back, ongin  
cheeriodae: jongin*

nininoo: sigh

**[nininoo added shoemin]**

**[nininoo added i am sehun]**

**[nininoo added yeol]**

i am sehun: fucking finally  
i am sehun: never do that again

nininoo: i can’t make any promises

yeol: and minseok will never know

**[Today, 7:04pm]**

**[got my junmoney is online]**  
  
got my junmoney: my phone had a seizure from all the notifs and i find an hour later that you can add and remove members of the chat, a deleted conversation, and that sehun raged.  
got my junmoney: so what’s up

**[bAEkhyunee is online]**

bAEkhyunee: shut up junmyeon

got my junmoney: and you guys wonder why i’ve gotten so mean to you

bAEkhyunee: no one is INTERESTED

got my junmoney: IM JUST BEING NICE

bAEkhyunee: well stop  
bAEkhyunee: btw what’s for dinner

got my junmoney: im not nice remember  
got my junmoney: you have to get it yourselves

bAEkhyunee: im sorry junmyeon  
bAEkhyunee: please get us dinner  
bAEkhyunee: :((((  
bAEkhyunee: i’ll give you my fishy soy sauces if you get me a sushi pack

got my junmoney: oh how the tables have turned  
got my junmoney: are you really sorry?

bAEkhyunee: yes  
bAEkhyunee: and i promise im not kidding  
bAEkhyunee: i will sacrifice my fishy soy sauces for you

got my junmoney: thank you <3  
got my junmoney: i’ll get dinner then

bAEkhyunee: thank youuu  
bAEkhyunee: i love you jun <333

got my junmoney: ly2

**[chinarap is online]**

chinarap: okay ew

bAEkhyunee: sigh  
bAEkhyunee: my fishy soy sauces

chinarap: :-(


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> contains very very slight spoilers for itaewon class, like it's legit just mentioned dont worry. thank you to everyone who has been following this as closely as you have, i remember posting it for the first time and being very worried about it not doing well. you all make me feel very special when you read this and leave kudos or comments. thanks guys <33

**the basement**   
**[Today, 11:10pm]**

**[cheeriodae is online]**

cheeriodae: HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN ITAEWON CLASS UGH  
cheeriodae: IM LIKE GOING TO CRY

**[bAEkhyunee, shoemin, and 3 others are online]**

got my junmoney: is that what you’ve been watching  
got my junmoney: i heard you sniffle and i was like ???

bAEkhyunee: you guys are together?

shoemin: literally the only reason we’re all active atm is because we’re all in the lounge room and there’s nothing to do  
shoemin: wait  
shoemin: aren’t you in the kitchen?

bAEkhyunee: why yes i am  
bAEkhyunee: i can see you all right now  
bAEkhyunee: hello

yeol: face palm

bAEkhyunee: ew junmyeon stop wiggling your eyebrows

got my junmoney: never  
got my junmoney: except it is actually pretty tiring so i will

soo: i watched the first two episodes.

got my junmoney: of?

soo: Itaewon class.  
soo: it’s really good  
soo: i haven’t gotten to watching more but i might now that you mention it  
soo: seeing as there’s nothing else to do

cheeriodae: omg it is so good  
cheeriodae: park seojoon 🙏 he matches his part so well

soo: he does  
soo: he’s an amazing actor  
soo: what episode are you up to?

cheeriodae: i just finished the second one  
cheeriodae: wanna vent on it?

soo: yes

yeol: wait a moment  
yeol: what is this

bAEkhyunee: kyungsoo are you okay

soo: just because i don’t talk as much as you guys, you shouldn’t be surprised when i do  
soo: especially since this is something im interested in  
soo: you know, sometimes i LIKE talking  
soo: i get so sick of you all when you say stuff like this

yeol: i think I preferred it when you didn’t talk

soo: excuse me?

got my junmoney: you shouldn’t say something like that, chanyeol

soo: don’t ever say that to anyone else  
soo: im not particularly offended but if it were someone else, you might really hurt them  
soo: it can take a lot of courage to speak up about things you like with other people, and just because it’s easy for you, doesn’t mean it is for other people

shoemin: i really agree

got my junmoney: it’s okay chanyeol, we know you didn’t mean it like that  
got my junmoney: it’s a learning experience

yeol: im sorry kyungsoo  
yeol: i wasn’t trying to offend you

soo: it’s fine  
soo: im not angry, im just explaining

cheeriodae: um  
cheeriodae: well yes so my favourite character atm is hyunyi

soo: oh my god hyunyi is amazing

cheeriodae: DUDE WATCH MORE EPS  
cheeriodae: hyunyi <333  
cheeriodae: there are details  
cheeriodae: “it’s not always about the size”

soo: don’t spoil it

cheeriodae: i won’t  
cheeriodae: hey you wanna put it on now  
cheeriodae: im okay with rewatching episodes

soo: sure

bAEkhyunee: at this point i think we’re allowed to be weirded out


	13. Chapter 13

**the basement**   
**[Today, 7:36pm]**

**[shoemin is online]**

shoemin: hey  
shoemin: i wanna try something can someone get online  
shoemin: @bAEkhyunee @cheeriodae you two please

**[cheeriodae, bAEkhyunee, and 1 other are online]**

bAEkhyunee: what

nininoo: don’t you guys have a gc for yourselves

shoemin: we do but i have a better chance at snagging someone on this one  
shoemin: so will you guys play a game with me

bAEkhyunee: no

cheeriodae: sure

nininoo: ig  
nininoo: baekhyun do you have a problem with everyone

bAEkhyunee: yeah probably  
bAEkhyunee: why

nininoo: ur just naturally bitchy  
nininoo: wait  
nininoo: what’s your problem w me???

shoemin: ^ me too please

cheeriodae: im not sure i want to know but go ahead

bAEkhyunee: okay  
bAEkhyunee: i’ll tell you if you promise not to hate me

shoemin: sure whatever just hurry up i wanna play

bAEkhyunee: okay  
bAEkhyunee: jongin  
bAEkhyunee: your laugh is fucking annoying thank u next

nininoo: well sorry bud but yours aint much better

bAEkhyunee: be quiet  
bAEkhyunee: jongdae  
bAEkhyunee: u complain too much for a 27 year old  
bAEkhyunee: and you speak with such long words???  
bAEkhyunee: like i’ll ask you something and youre like ‘ahhh wellllll this is what iiiiii think baekhyunnnnnn’  
bAEkhyunee: like are you okay

cheeriodae: uh no i dont???

nininoo: you kind of do actually

cheeriodae: shut up you have a shitty laugh

nininoo: :(

shoemin: what about me?

bAEkhyunee: uh  
bAEkhyunee: idk there’s nothing you do that really pisses me off

shoemin: oh  
shoemin: sweet

nininoo: hold on  
nininoo: dont tell me you have a problem with ME  
nininoo: and then say minseok is fine  
nininoo: i smell favouritism

bAEkhyunee: look im not the one with the problem  
bAEkhyunee: you guys are the ones with the flaws  
bAEkhyunee: im just calling them out

cheeriodae: minseok is pretty flawless

shoemin: aw <33

cheeriodae: <333

nininoo: i would tag kyungsoo but he doesnt do compliments and id probably just get more offended

**[shoemin liked nininoo’s message]**

shoemin: you would  
shoemin: okay so now that we hate baekhyun can we play my game

bAEkhyunee: sorry suho’s tryna call  
bAEkhyunee: cant play

cheeriodae: S U H O  
cheeriodae: UM BAEKHYUN

bAEkhyunee: JUNMYEON  
bAEkhyunee: I MEANT JUNMYEON

**[bAEkhyunee is offline]**

shoemin: you two?

nininoo: sorry seok  
nininoo: JUNMYEON wants me to go with baek  
nininoo: we have to pick up dinner :c

**[nininoo is offline]**

shoemin: sigh  
shoemin: sorry dae it’s not good w only two people

cheeriodae: it’s fine  
cheeriodae: we can play another time!

shoemin: yeah okay  
shoemin: wanna put on music and sing really loud

cheeriodae: yes please

shoemin: i love you jongdae

cheeriodae: i love you too, minseok

**[shoemin is offline]**

**[cheeriodae is offline]**


	14. Chapter 14

**xiuchen investigation squad**   
**[Today, 1:34am]**

**[bAEkhyunee added yeol, nininoo, chinarap, got my junmoney, i am sehun, and soo]**

bAEkhyunee: im sorry but is anyone else suspicious

yeol: of?

got my junmoney: omg totally  
got my junmoney: they so have a crush on each other

chinarap: i havent been active the last few days but ik what you mean

yeol: wait  
yeol: who?

i am sehun: jesus chanyeol we knew you were a fucking moron but this is just concerning

yeol: EXCUSE ME  
yeol: you are a true bitch at heart

i am sehun: the blood that runs through these very veins is bitchy

bAEkhyunee: minseok and jongdae  
bAEkhyunee: they’re either together or going to be

yeol: woah  
yeol: i mean there were signs

chinarap: many MANY signs

nininoo: ooh  
nininoo: so who’s gonna ask them

got my junmoney: NO  
got my junmoney: we need to approach this carefully

soo: what if they actually AREN’T together and they are just very close friends??

bAEkhyunee: it’s definitely more than that  
bAEkhyunee: trust me

chinarap: you know it’s serious when baek makes a whole gc dedicated to finding out about a relationship

soo: this is so stupid

yeol: if it’s so stupid why havent you left yet?

bAEkhyunee: ^

nininoo: ^^

soo: because there is a chance  
soo: and i want in on the details

i am sehun: i smell hypocrisy

soo: that isn’t hypocrisy???

i am sehun: what is it then

soo: i don’t know but it isn’t hypocrisy

chinarap: isn’t it  
chinarap: i see what sehun means

i am sehun: of course you do

soo: your cat is not yet entirely safe yix  
soo: i wouldn’t push it

chinarap: :(

got my junmoney: this is exciting  
got my junmoney: we haven’t had a relationship among us yet

yeol: yeah we have

nininoo: really???

got my junmoney: wait have we  
got my junmoney: who?

yeol: 2baek <333

**[bAEkhyunee removed yeol from the chat]**

nininoo: i think we are going to suffer this quite a lot

bAEkhyunee: we wouldn’t if he would just SHUT UP

chinarap: keeping an eye out for baek porn

**[bAEkhyunee removed chinarap from the chat]**

nininoo: suffering

i am sehun: should i add them back

bAEkhyunee: if u do i will remove you instead

i am sehun: fine

**[got my junmoney added yeol to the chat]**

**[got my junmoney added chinarap to the chat]**

got my junmoney: you’re all so mean

bAEkhyunee: @ chanyeol

yeol: <3  
yeol: youre just so hot you have to have a relationship with yourself

**[soo is offline]**

nininoo: lmao kyungsoo

chinarap: he gets so damn sick of us all

got my junmoney: uhm???  
got my junmoney: chanyeol???

yeol: yes

got my junmoney: do we need a gc for chanbaek as well

bAEkhyunee: CHANBAEK TF  
bAEkhyunee: CHANYEOL CAN YOU LIKE GO DUMB AND ILLITERATE

i am sehun: he already is dumb and illiterate

yeol: s t o p

bAEkhyunee: you fucking said i was hot  
bAEkhyunee: unacceptable

yeol: it was a JOKE  
yeol: a haha  
yeol: crackin a funny, if we were in pitch perfect  
yeol: trust me im not into chanbaek either

bAEkhyunee: trust me im gonna throw someone off a cliff

got my junmoney: okay well  
got my junmoney: if anyone has any updates on xiuchen this is the place  
got my junmoney: bye

bAEkhyunee: ugh yes bye

**[got my junmoney is offline]**

**[bAEkhyunee is offline]**

nininoo: the anger

chinarap: that was funny  
chinarap: yall are great

i am sehun: except chanyeol <33

yeol: im gonna fucking kill you  
yeol: top of my hitlist

i am sehun: but you can’t read or write??

yeol: i’ll get ksoo to write it for me  
yeol: in fact he can assist me in the murder

nininoo: sehun run

i am sehun: running


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a slightly longer one for the fifteenth one!! hope yall enjoy <3

**the basement**   
**[Today, 3:27pm]**

**[chinarap is online]**

chinarap: jAsOn DeRuLo

**[cheeriodae is online]**

cheeriodae: here come the men in black!

chinarap: nice

cheeriodae: will smith is my hero

**[nininoo is online]**

nininoo: omg will smith  
nininoo: prince ali fabulous he of alibabwa  
nininoo: amazing

cheeriodae: excuse me but rihanna 💅

chinarap: WHEN THE SUN SHINES WE’LL SHINE TOGETHER  
chinarap: TOLD YOU I’D BE HERE FOREVER

nininoo: SAID I’LL ALWAYS BE YOUR FRIEND

cheeriodae: TOOK AN OATH IMMA STICK IT OUT TO THE END

nininoo: that’s such a bop  
nininoo: ooh, baby do you know what that’s worth  
nininoo: ooh heaven is a place on earth  
nininoo: funny how i hate that song

chinarap: ugh dont we all

**[shoemin is online]**

shoemin: never heard that song  
shoemin: gasp  
shoemin: can we play my game

cheeriodae: OH YEAH  
cheeriodae: im in

chinarap: sure okay

nininoo: what is it

shoemin: it’s basically just that thing where someone starts off the lyrics of a song and then everyone else has to keep the song going  
shoemin: awesome game

nininoo: omg ive played this!

cheeriodae: baek and i used to play it a lot  
cheeriodae: he’s amazing at it  
cheeriodae: he knows like every single song ever

shoemin: tf why did u never tell me??  
shoemin: i would have played :c

cheeriodae: aw im sorry :c  
cheeriodae: we’ll invite you next time we play

shoemin: thank you

cheeriodae: that’s okay

nininoo: !!!!

chinarap: ikr

nininoo: ???

chinarap: !!! YEAH

cheeriodae: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING

nininoo: idk yix is just agreeing with whatever  
nininoo: yixing you are dumb

chinarap: shut up let’s just play

cheeriodae: WAIT  
cheeriodae: we need baek

chinarap: ew do we really

cheeriodae: yes  
cheeriodae: @bAEkhyunee let’s play the song game

**[bAEkhyunee is online]**

bAEkhyunee: it’s on bitches  
bAEkhyunee: what song

shoemin: let me find a song  
shoemin: how about baby one more time?

nininoo: BRITNEY OMG YES CAN WE

bAEkhyunee: that is where you have made your first mistake  
bAEkhyunee: britney spears was a phase of mine  
bAEkhyunee: her songs were a code imprinted in my brain at birth

chinarap: was she even doing music then

bAEkhyunee: dont know but if she wasnt it was a foresight thing  
bAEkhyunee: rightio who is starting

shoemin: OH BABY BABY  
shoemin: HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW  
shoemin: THAT SOMETHING WASNT RIGHT HERE

nininoo: THAT SOMETHING WASN’T RIGHT HERE

chinarap: OH BABY BABY

bAEkhyunee: OH BABY BABY  
bAEkhyunee: I SHOULDNT HAVE LET YOU GO

chinarap: I SHOULDNT HAVE LET YOU GO

cheeriodae: AND NOW YOURE RIGHT OUTSIDE YEAH  
cheeriodae: offside? i cant tell what the word is

bAEkhyunee: yk i think we need a number order  
bAEkhyunee: everyone pick a number from 1-5  
bAEkhyunee: i choose 3

nininoo: dang i was gonna be 3

cheeriodae: you were second tho so youre 2  
cheeriodae: so seok youd be 1

shoemin: okay  
shoemin: wait  
shoemin: so wouldn’t baek be 4? because yix came third?

chinarap: it’s fine i can be 4

cheeriodae: darn am i five

bAEkhyunee: haha

chinarap: it doesn’t matter because youll get lines anyway  
chinarap: ah, how similar this seems to line distribution

nininoo: ooh salty  
nininoo: it’s okay fellow dancer, we may be lineless, but we have our dance breaks and that is enough

chinarap: it really isn’t

nininoo: omg ik forget i said that

bAEkhyunee: OKAY  
bAEkhyunee: so who is who

chinarap: this is oppression  
chinarap: we deserve more lines

shoemin: i don’t get many either  
shoemin: and don’t you have a solo career >:(

chinarap: aren’t you in a unit >:(((

bAEkhyunee: NUMBERS

chinarap: ugh  
chinarap: 4

nininoo: 2

shoemin: 1

cheeriodae: 5

bAEkhyunee: and im 3  
bAEkhyunee: right  
bAEkhyunee: seok, take us away

nininoo: TAKE US AWAY EARNY

cheeriodae: LMAOOOO

chinarap: isn’t it earl???

nininoo: CHOKES NO  
nininoo: it’s earny

chinarap: bitch it is earl get your harry potter right

shoemin: sigh  
shoemin: i’ll look it up  
shoemin: it’s earn so both of you were wrong

nininoo: WHAT  
nininoo: E A R N  
nininoo: what a shitty name

chinarap: okay earny

nininoo: bro earl is fucking three centuries ago not like it’s any better

shoemin: OKAY HOW ABOUT A NEW SONG

nininoo: PLEASE

cheeriodae: ooh what song

bAEkhyunee: seok you start and then jongin will have to try to do the next part

shoemin: okie  
shoemin: how about  
shoemin: I THREW A WISH IN THE WELL

chinarap: what

nininoo: DONT ASK ME I’LL NEVER TELL

chinarap: you got that??!!

bAEkhyunee: I LOOKED TO YOU AS IT FELL

chinarap: I DON’T KNOW THIS SONG WHAT

bAEkhyunee: okay dae just go

cheeriodae: AND NOW YOURE IN MY WAY

shoemin: ID TRADE MY SOUL FOR A WISH

nininoo: PENNIES AND DIMES FOR A KISS

bAEkhyunee: I WASN’T LOOKING FOR THIS BUT NOW YOURE IN MY WAY  
bAEkhyunee: it’s fine yix, you’ll get it when the chorus comes

cheeriodae: YOUR STARE WAS HOLDIN

shoemin: RIPPED JEANS, SKIN WAS SHOWIN

nininoo: HOT NIGHT, WIND WAS BLOWIN

bAEkhyunee: WHERE YOU THINK YOURE GOING, BABY

shoemin: HEY I JUST MET YOU

chinarap: GASP  
chinarap: I KNOW IT

nininoo: YES YIXING  
nininoo: AND THIS IS CRAZY

bAEkhyunee: BUT HERE’S MY NUMBER

chinarap: SO CALL ME MAYBE

cheeriodae: WOOOOOO  
cheeriodae: IT’S HARD TO LOOK RIGHT, AT YOU BAAAABY

shoemin: BUT HERE’S MY NUMBER, SO CALL ME MAYBE  
shoemin: YOOOOO omg that was so good

chinarap: carly rae jepsen is a high quality gal  
chinarap: run away with me <333

cheeriodae: g a s p  
cheeriodae: that song  
cheeriodae: OH BABY, TAKE ME TO THE FEELING  
cheeriodae: I’LL BE YOUR SINNER IN SECRET

chinarap: WHEN THE LIGHTS GO OUUUUTTTTTT  
chinarap: yes jongdae omg i didn’t know you were such a legend

cheeriodae: carly is a top notch listen

shoemin: omg i didn’t know any of you guys liked her  
shoemin: why did you never tell me :(

cheeriodae: didn’t think you were interested :(((  
cheeriodae: yes minseok now we can bop to her together as well

bAEkhyunee: ‘as well’

nininoo: brb

**[nininoo is offline]**

chinarap: i should probably nick off too  
chinarap: cya

**[chinarap is offline]**

shoemin: we should too  
shoemin: thanks for playing

bAEkhyunee: that’s fine

cheeriodae: it was really fun! we should play again some time

shoemin: yes sure

**[shoemin, bAEkhyunee, and 1 other are offline]**

**xiuchen investigation squad**   
**[Today, 3:43pm]**

**[nininoo and chinarap are online]**

nininoo: it’s official

chinarap: god im so curious

**[got my junmoney is online]**

got my junmoney: WAIT YOU ASKED??

nininoo: no  
nininoo: it’s just certain that they like each other

got my junmoney: okay well that’s no better than what we already knew

**[i am sehun is online]**

i am sehun: what did they say

chinarap: we were playing a game and they just found out they both love carly rae jepsen  
chinarap: which is unfair because i love her too :(

i am sehun: uh  
i am sehun: …ok  
i am sehun: who is she again

got my junmoney: call me maybe girl

i am sehun: ah  
i am sehun: yes, that is a good song

nininoo: lmao you like her??

i am sehun: hold up doesn’t yixing  
i am sehun: and jongdae AND minseok?

chinarap: yes but youre the one that makes fun of us for stuff like that  
chinarap: usually youd be like ‘haha losers’

i am sehun: damn yo i thought you were homies  
i am sehun: gotta blast ig

**[i am sehun is offline]**

got my junmoney: poor sehun

nininoo: 🪓 you take that back

got my junmoney: taken back

chinarap: we hate him <3


	16. Chapter 16

**the basement**   
**[Today, 11:45am]**

**[yeol is online]**

yeol: i just fell down the stairs

**[i am sehun and nininoo online]**

i am sehun: of course you did

nininoo: but i fell harder for you

yeol: please go away, both of you

nininoo: :-(

i am sehun: gladly  
i am sehun: but no thanks

**[got my junmoney is online]**

got my junmoney: junmyeon wanted to check the gc but he’s driving  
got my junmoney: he can’t find a park in the multistorey

yeol: dang  
yeol: hold up who are you???

got my junmoney: kyungsoo  
got my junmoney: he’s on the fifth floor now jesus

nininoo: this is the most expressive soo has ever been through text  
nininoo: someone take a screenshot

i am sehun: man you guys are gonna have a great time climbing those stairs

got my junmoney: why do you think there are elevators installed

yeol: i got stuck in one of those the other day

nininoo: in the elevator?!

yeol: what? no  
yeol: the multistorey

i am sehun: that’s a funny image

yeol: i meant the multistorey  
yeol: it was the dreaded ‘car cant get into park’ traffic jam  
yeol: quite the block up

i am sehun: can’t relate don’t have a license <33

got my junmoney: why are you so proud of that

i am sehun: duh  
i am sehun: just catch rides with junmyeon  
i am sehun: he can’t so no because he values his reputation, and he knows i’ll expose him in an interview at some point

got my junmoney: he doesn’t just give people free rides  
got my junmoney: he isn’t a pushover

i am sehun: then what are you doing in his car right now?

**[got my junmoney removed i am sehun from the chat]**

yeol: he got you there

got my junmoney: you will be removed  
got my junmoney: not just from the chat

yeol: you can’t kick me out

got my junmoney: my house my rules

nininoo: hold up it’s YOUR house??

got my junmoney: it is until someone else cooks the meals

yeol: menulog cooks my meals <33  
yeol: it’s fine anyways  
yeol: i can just crash at minseok’s

got my junmoney: you’re welcome to do that

nininoo: say hi to jongdae for me <3

yeol: delete that quick

**[nininoo deleted 1 message]**

**[chinarap is online]**

chinarap: yo bitches

yeol: hey yix  
yeol: wanna stay at minseok’s w me

chinarap: ew no thanks  
chinarap: excuse me soo it is not your house

got my junmoney: you have your own house??? if you don’t like living here, you don’t have to deal with it

nininoo: hang on  
nininoo: yix how do you know that’s kyungsoo

yeol: if that is your real name

chinarap: what  
chinarap: i read back

yeol: no u didn’t

nininoo: hello sehun :)))

chinarap: no  
chinarap: this is yixing

nininoo: and is the person on your phone also called yixing??  
nininoo: or is that sehun?

chinarap: NO

nininoo: ALWAYS CLOSE THE DOOR BITCH

yeol: L M A O

**[yeol removed chinarap from the chat]**

got my junmoney: that wasn’t very smart of him  
got my junmoney: he should’ve thought of that

yeol: not everyone thinks through their murders like you do, soo

got my junmoney: i’ve realised that  
got my junmoney: we found a park

yeol: nice  
yeol: what are you getting?

got my junmoney: myeon wanted to get some new books and i said i’d come with him

yeol: cool

nininoo: ‘hey junmyeon let’s get this one’  
nininoo: ‘kyungsoo?? “murder: getting away with it”?’

**[yeol liked nininoo’s message]**

got my junmoney: you’re next :-)

nininoo: i’m shaking

yeol: just like my hands after falling down those stairs

nininoo: that doesn’t sound healthy  
nininoo: maybe you should lie down

yeol: can’t  
yeol: i hit my head and i think i can feel liquid running  
yeol: yup that’s blood

got my junmoney: jesus chanyeol  
got my junmoney: is it bad?  
got my junmoney: maybe you should see a doctor

yeol: im good  
yeol: don’t feel dizzy so

nininoo: b u t t h e s h a k y h a n d s

yeol: i will be fine  
yeol: if im dead tomorrow you know why

nininoo: because ksoo was feeling angry

yeol: scoff  
yeol: if im dead tomorrow, there are two possibilities why  
yeol: goodbye

**[yeol is offline]**


	17. Chapter 17

**the basement**   
**[Today, 10:32pm]**

**[chinarap is online]**

chinarap: it is nice to feel wanted around here

**[soo, got my junmoney and 1 other is online]**

soo: how would you know?

chinarap: yo stfu  
chinarap: im wanted

bAEkhyunee: it doesn’t count if it’s the LAW yixing

got my junmoney: WHAT

chinarap: BAEKHYUN  
chinarap: ???

soo: wow  
soo: that got interesting

chinarap: are you really going to believe whatever baekhyun says??  
chinarap: i didn’t break the law

got my junmoney: yeah right  
got my junmoney: what did you do

chinarap: what the fuck junmyeon  
chinarap: baekhyun was there too

bAEkhyunee: no

soo: that’s a yes  
soo: @yeol  
soo: for once i think you need to be here

**[yeol is online]**

yeol: FUCKING RIP I TOLD YALL YOU WOULD GET CAUGHT

chinarap: CHANYEOL

bAEkhyunee: SHUT UP MF

got my junmoney: OH NOW WE’RE GETTING SOMEWHERE  
got my junmoney: WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO

yeol: IT WAS SEHUN’S IDEA  
yeol: I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING I JUST WATCHED

soo: that still makes you a witness  
soo: and an accomplice for not doing anything

chinarap: we’re not all murderers like you  
chinarap: it wasn’t that bad

soo: what did you do

chinarap: no way im telling

got my junmoney: sehun is easily persuaded  
got my junmoney: @i am sehun  
got my junmoney: either you tell me or he does

bAEkhyunee: sehun wont snitch  
bAEkhyunee: it was his idea

yeol: don’t be so sure  
yeol: i genuinely think he would with the right offer

chinarap: you two are useless wtf

**[i am sehun is online]**

i am sehun: well well  
i am sehun: i’ll tell you if i don’t get punished

got my junmoney: tell me  
got my junmoney: if you guys have committed a serious crime we have a problem

i am sehun: public drinking and arson

soo: arson?!

got my junmoney: ARSON

i am sehun: yeol’s lying  
i am sehun: he burnt shit too

bAEkhyunee: IT SOUNDS WORSE THAN IT IS  
bAEkhyunee: WE WERE BURNING A TABLE SOMEONE LEFT OUTSIDE THEIR HOUSE

got my junmoney: WHAT IF THEY NEEDED THAT TABLE

chinarap: WE LEFT TEN BUCKS  
chinarap: IT WAS FOR SALE

soo: wtf that could have been a real bargain

yeol: okay first of all kyungsoo you need to SHUT UP you sound like a grandpa  
yeol: and no!! i didn’t burn anything

i am sehun: you poured lit bourbon all over the table  
i am sehun: which was stupid because bourbon can be expensive

yeol: do you WANT me to get arrested

i am sehun: not my problem if you do <3

got my junmoney: no you guys are in a lot of trouble  
got my junmoney: like a LOT  
got my junmoney: are there police after you?

bAEkhyunee: no  
bAEkhyunee: i don’t think it was on supervised property so if someone finds the table they can’t really do anything about it  
bAEkhyunee: but yix got a ticket for public drinking

chinarap: it’s just a fine  
chinarap: barely 100 bucks  
chinarap: a fine fine

got my junmoney: i can’t believe how irresponsible you four are  
got my junmoney: i hope this NEVER happens again and i am genuinely threatening you when i say that there will be consequences  
got my junmoney: i’m really disappointed

bAEkhyunee: sorry junmyeon :(

yeol: yeah sorry :( we won’t do anything like it again i promise

chinarap: speak for yourself me and sehun had a blast

soo: sehun and i*  
soo: and also not funny  
soo: take responsibility you fuckwits

i am sehun: keep your expectations low and you’ll never be disappointed, ksoo  
i am sehun: but ok  
i am sehun: i don’t want to be arrested

chinarap: jail time  
chinarap: i wonder what i would go to jail for

yeol: selling pot  
yeol: or tax evasion  
yeol: maybe both

bAEkhyunee: what a bad boy, tax evasion  
bAEkhyunee: chanyeol you would never get caught, always on the run  
bAEkhyunee: with a motor bike and leather jacket, mad max style

yeol: yo that’s cool  
yeol: you would be like a mafia mastermind

i am sehun: stfu i know both those things are just what you both find hot  
i am sehun: just fuck already

got my junmoney: or don’t

**[got my junmoney is offline]**

i am sehun: you should

bAEkhyunee: no thanks

yeol: nah that’s gross  
yeol: never baekhyun

bAEkhyunee: never chanyeol

chinarap: i feel like im seeing something i shouldn’t  
chinarap: cmon let’s go ksoo

**[soo and chinarap are offline]**

bAEkhyunee: ew bye

yeol: bye darling <3

bAEkhyunee: i will throw up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayyy im back with one short chapter before i dip for another month or so <3 i'm working on a big project atm (ateez seongjoong if you're interested) for a request so updates will be few and far between but i just needed to leave this here after like ten minutes of working on it. hope it's okay this fic is so random uhhhh

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:  
> let me know if you liked it so i can post the next part! hopefully you enjoyed my hideous brainchild
> 
> btw guys, you can request conversations for future chapters because i'd really like to see where they go! it's really fun writing this and i'll take literally anything so give me your ideas! <33


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